Pop stars care about you…

…if your YouTube video gets two million hits.

If the Jonas Brothers made you feel old, Justin Bieber–the most famous kid you’ve never heard of–certainly will. The fifteen-year-old tweenage heartthrob was discovered singing to his webcam and catapulted to the top, where he now has Usher on speed dial and practices artful product placement.

But even more terrifying than this musical Macaulay Culkin are his fans, including a three-year-old who only wishes that she has a spare set of panties to throw. And “because he cares,” he visited her!

Is it the same pesticides that cause early puberty in little girls, or is a more sinister force at work here? I don’t dare to imagine.

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